4/8/2024
While things are getting better a lot of things are still a trainwreck on my end.
While my cat has responded to the thyroid medication, she can’t take it as a pill which is the prime reason for all of her side effects (including being vomity as all hell)
So the mighty 15 year old furball is going to be getting a topical gel in her ears, and is on anti-nausea medication and a reduced dose of the pills until she can get on the gel.
That’s one thing that’s getting better…on the other hand, the day after I posted my message about things going on pause, an elderly family member banged themselves up in a fall and is still recovering.
So we are still in wait and see mode over here. When we know more, you’ll know more. π
He’s envious because she already has a loyal group of people that already know that she’s capable and a reputation that will satisfy those who don’t know her personally. While there are those that know he’s capable, there are a lot more that really know him. There are a large number of folks that, when they look at Ian, will see a young punk kid. Some of them will never change their minds and he can’t afford to spend all his time knocking heads together, to disabuse people of their foolish preconceptions.
So, he has to keep going out, to prove himself to the ones who will see and learn. Even so, he has to continually guard himself against the ones who don’t see, won’t learn, & can’t get out of the way. It’s a shitty situation to be in, especially since he’s lost his key emotional support. Julia wasn’t just his wife & lover, she was his partner in all ways. They kept each other sane & stable. And now she’s gone, leaving an enormous void, filled only with pain. Add to that, the survivor’s guilt they’re all feeling, & I imagine he’s also throwing himself into the work, just to numb the pain. I imagine the second most common refrain in his head is some variation of, “I have to make this work, or it was all for nothing.”
So, he has to keep going out, to prove himself to the ones who will see and learn. Even so, he has to continually guard himself against the ones who don’t see, won’t learn, & can’t get out of the way. It’s a shitty situation to be in, especially since he’s lost his key emotional support. Julia wasn’t just his wife & lover, she was his partner in all ways. They kept each other sane & stable. And now she’s gone, leaving an enormous void, filled only with pain. Add to that, the survivor’s guilt they’re all feeling, & I imagine he’s also throwing himself into the work, just to numb the pain. I imagine the second most common refrain in his head is some variation of, “I have to make this work, or it was all for nothing.”
You absolutely nailed it in your analysis.