Dana McAllen was a member of the urban exploration association that was investigating remnants of the worlds previous civilization. She has been Ian’s closest friend since early childhood, and is still his closest confidant.
II think you need something for the reader to focus on for this to work. I can tell there’s people and stuff in the ciomic if I take the time to look but if I don’t it just looks like word balloons floating in space.
Well, it is a moonless desert night. Starlight isn’t that bright. Agreed that it is hard to see the protagonists and the landscape, but that seems pretty true to the situation.
yep