9/23/2024
Due to family medical issues, Requiem is on indefinite hiatus.
An elderly family member of ours took a bad fall on Labor Day night, and we’ve been dealing with the aftermath ever since. Hopefully, things will get sorted out, but as of right now, doing a daily comic is not something my schedule can allow.
Sorry to have this happen, but as everyone knows, real life comes first….and at least we don’t have too many running storylines on the backburner.
Thorondor “Ian” Caladharas is the 18 year old heir to one of the first of the Merchant Houses. An intelligent, independent teenager; Ian has a tendency towards irreverence and and frustration. In all honesty, he doesn’t care what his grandfather says he is heir to, he just wants to have a normal life. Or at least as normal a one as possible. (As my skills improved I made some revamps to this characters appearance to reflect aging and such as well. The top picture is how he is currently modeled. )
Just back from my first ever trip abroad (me, being Bulgarian, visiting my friends in Poland), during which I was quite away from any source of Internet, so … was I in for a big surprise when I got to reading back on the Requiem! Questions were answered, and naturally, new ones arose …
There appears that he is projecting his physical self? Hmmm. Seems unlikely unless it’s the brain trying to stay sane while doing the impossible. Of course, in sci fi everything is possible :).
He admits that his understanding of his powers is incomplete, yet here he is attempting to confront someone whose experience is far greater… Ian’s passion is one of his strengths, but I don’t think he’s really thought this through.
Though perhaps he’s weighed the risks and decided that intel on the enemy is more important than what might happen to himself. If he has a plan for retreating after Belisarius becomes aware of his presence, then maybe… Well, we shall just have to see.
I’m wondering if seeing is a precursor to teleporting. It’s also already been established that Darius could sense when Ian was seeing, especially on a grand scale. Ian could be opening up a world of trouble here. And yet he chooses to do so when all his friends are asleep.
Hi, I’m Ice Raven, and it’s my first time here. I found the place from hitting a link from another online graphic novel, and have spent far too much of the past couple of days reading all the strips! But I unfortunately think that this could be more due to my addictive nature than the quality of the writing…
I really like the art, and it has indeed improved, and we don’t see so many of the amusing nostril lights anymore. Always good for reading in bed, or as a backup light source underground… *cough* anyway *cough* I thought the last couple of full page portraits, was it Callina? and Ian’s mother were very well done. Ian’s mother was especially impressive with her face looking very natural and soft, and not so plastic-y.
Story telling wise it’s pretty good, but there are a few things that got left out in a very anti climactic way. Big fight against the immortal Nicklos, and half the team is down, and it’s a brutal touch and go struggle, and … CUT! moving on. Jump! Jump back! And…. flashback. Yeah, we beat him up. Sob, we lost people. Again, at River Crossing, they find all those bodies, someone is moving in an army, they can’t find Kira Dawn, the tension is building, they finally find her (will they make it out? Whose is the army? What will they do with the bodies? Research them, move them, cut a deal?) and… CUT! Jump! Jump somewhere else! Jump back and… flashback. Oh yeah, we got out. It’s very anti climactic, and bad story telling. Don’t TELL us what happened, SHOW us! ESPECIALLY at a climax! (And by the way, what happened to the bodies? Did they destroy them? Did they seriously just leave them there, for the “owner” to retrieve, when obviously they’re important to him and there’s good reason to believe he’s not a friend, or did they just leave them to they “guys with the army? Whose army was it, anyway?)
Don’t get me wrong, I think the story’s quite good, but it could be great! It is very good in many places, but severely let down in others. With a bit of rewriting in places, it could be vastly improved.
But the biggest problem I have is that Ian is basically an idiot. This is more difficult to change, if one was going to re-edit, as it would take quite a lot of rewriting. He’s not exactly stupid, indeed he has his moments of brilliance, but basically a headstrong, impatient 16 year old who wants to save the world by himself. That’s great, that’s who he is, it’s great characterization and it’s perfect. But he’s also the leader of one of the biggest ‘Houses’ on the planet! He has no heir, he’s the only one in charge, and he’s never there, never giving orders, never taking an interest in the day to day operations or indeed ANYTHING about the House, and indeed most of the time he’s off gallivanting with his girl. This is at a time of great crisis. SOMEBODY should be reining him in – but nor Andry of course, who thought charging into a city recently devastated by biological weapons without wearing NBC biosuits was a good idea. There have been NO attempts to liase with the other Houses and suggest co-operation, there has been NO leadership, there has been NO war mobilization nor concentrated sustained scientific endeavours (other than that instigated by rogue personnel such as Cage or the Heir with his buddies), and there has been NO broadcasts informing the general public of what is happening (apart from one in which Cut! Jump! nothing was said).
If I was a high ranking member of this House, I would have pulled Ian aside and had words with him, OR… staged a coup. Ian and wifey arrive from one of their jaunts to find an ambush waiting at the airport and they find out later that Andre blew up in his car as he drove out to pick them up. I think that would be the best way to correct this story – that someone, with the best of intentions, decided at the worst possible time, took over. And succeeded. I hope you can make it happen!
The alternative is to go back and rewrite the story so Ian is doing all the stuff (the NO stuff). Perhaps it was all “behind the scenes.” So show it to us! But THEN… you have to deal with the fact that Ian would be persuaded or forced to never go adventuring. No House, lacking it’s leaders, in a time of unknown peril, would allow the Heir to go charging off unsupported into danger time and time again. They’d send teams. This would fundamentally change the whole story.
Of course this is your story, and you’ve been telling it for a while, and it’s your right and prerogative to do exactly as you fit and tell the story as you see it. And the above criticism is just an unsolicited opinion by some nobody.
But… I’d still love a coup! Leaders are down! Heir is always away and (seemingly) incompetant! He has one true supporter at the Keep! I could do it better! Something’s got to be done!
I am reminded that advice is worth what you pay for it. Besides, sci fi is all about a willing suspension of belief. If you can believe that a (very) young man can inherit – with virtually unlimited and absolute authority – a “House”, then you can believe that he can do as he damn well pleases. Besides, it makes a nice story.
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Though perhaps he’s weighed the risks and decided that intel on the enemy is more important than what might happen to himself. If he has a plan for retreating after Belisarius becomes aware of his presence, then maybe… Well, we shall just have to see.
Hi, I’m Ice Raven, and it’s my first time here. I found the place from hitting a link from another online graphic novel, and have spent far too much of the past couple of days reading all the strips! But I unfortunately think that this could be more due to my addictive nature than the quality of the writing…
I really like the art, and it has indeed improved, and we don’t see so many of the amusing nostril lights anymore. Always good for reading in bed, or as a backup light source underground… *cough* anyway *cough* I thought the last couple of full page portraits, was it Callina? and Ian’s mother were very well done. Ian’s mother was especially impressive with her face looking very natural and soft, and not so plastic-y.
Story telling wise it’s pretty good, but there are a few things that got left out in a very anti climactic way. Big fight against the immortal Nicklos, and half the team is down, and it’s a brutal touch and go struggle, and … CUT! moving on. Jump! Jump back! And…. flashback. Yeah, we beat him up. Sob, we lost people. Again, at River Crossing, they find all those bodies, someone is moving in an army, they can’t find Kira Dawn, the tension is building, they finally find her (will they make it out? Whose is the army? What will they do with the bodies? Research them, move them, cut a deal?) and… CUT! Jump! Jump somewhere else! Jump back and… flashback. Oh yeah, we got out. It’s very anti climactic, and bad story telling. Don’t TELL us what happened, SHOW us! ESPECIALLY at a climax! (And by the way, what happened to the bodies? Did they destroy them? Did they seriously just leave them there, for the “owner” to retrieve, when obviously they’re important to him and there’s good reason to believe he’s not a friend, or did they just leave them to they “guys with the army? Whose army was it, anyway?)
Don’t get me wrong, I think the story’s quite good, but it could be great! It is very good in many places, but severely let down in others. With a bit of rewriting in places, it could be vastly improved.
But the biggest problem I have is that Ian is basically an idiot. This is more difficult to change, if one was going to re-edit, as it would take quite a lot of rewriting. He’s not exactly stupid, indeed he has his moments of brilliance, but basically a headstrong, impatient 16 year old who wants to save the world by himself. That’s great, that’s who he is, it’s great characterization and it’s perfect. But he’s also the leader of one of the biggest ‘Houses’ on the planet! He has no heir, he’s the only one in charge, and he’s never there, never giving orders, never taking an interest in the day to day operations or indeed ANYTHING about the House, and indeed most of the time he’s off gallivanting with his girl. This is at a time of great crisis. SOMEBODY should be reining him in – but nor Andry of course, who thought charging into a city recently devastated by biological weapons without wearing NBC biosuits was a good idea. There have been NO attempts to liase with the other Houses and suggest co-operation, there has been NO leadership, there has been NO war mobilization nor concentrated sustained scientific endeavours (other than that instigated by rogue personnel such as Cage or the Heir with his buddies), and there has been NO broadcasts informing the general public of what is happening (apart from one in which Cut! Jump! nothing was said).
If I was a high ranking member of this House, I would have pulled Ian aside and had words with him, OR… staged a coup. Ian and wifey arrive from one of their jaunts to find an ambush waiting at the airport and they find out later that Andre blew up in his car as he drove out to pick them up. I think that would be the best way to correct this story – that someone, with the best of intentions, decided at the worst possible time, took over. And succeeded. I hope you can make it happen!
The alternative is to go back and rewrite the story so Ian is doing all the stuff (the NO stuff). Perhaps it was all “behind the scenes.” So show it to us! But THEN… you have to deal with the fact that Ian would be persuaded or forced to never go adventuring. No House, lacking it’s leaders, in a time of unknown peril, would allow the Heir to go charging off unsupported into danger time and time again. They’d send teams. This would fundamentally change the whole story.
Of course this is your story, and you’ve been telling it for a while, and it’s your right and prerogative to do exactly as you fit and tell the story as you see it. And the above criticism is just an unsolicited opinion by some nobody.
But… I’d still love a coup! Leaders are down! Heir is always away and (seemingly) incompetant! He has one true supporter at the Keep! I could do it better! Something’s got to be done!
Ken